Tugs and Pulls

The last few months have been strange for me. There have been many things going on in my own life and the lives of my children which have yanked at my heartstrings and caused some pain and some joy, some peace and some unrest.

Life can be like that, just winding you around itself and causing you to look back to see events for what they were and the blessings they brought; also forcing you to look forward to hope for a better acceptance of incidents and for faith to recognize and enjoy blessings when they come instead of realizing they were there but overlooked.

Perhaps because I've just passed the two-year mark of being released as Relief Society President, I've been thinking so much about the three and half years I served in that position. What a trying job for someone as insecure and unsure as me; yet what enormous blessings that calling brought into my life. I will forever be grateful to those beautiful women of the PV 2nd Ward who I love more than life. I learned so much from each of them and hope that I will always remember those lessons of love. How difficult it was to be released and then be placed in a new ward. My heart is still raw over that.

Another release came this week. I gave my two-week's notice at work. I started working almost two years ago, so it feels like another chapter of my life has ended. I'm not sure why this had to happen, but I felt absolutely compelled to do it, as if I had no choice in the matter. Things haven't been great at work since I changed to part-time when Bryan had his knee surgeries. I hope and pray that whatever comes next will bring realization of the value of these experiences.

No, nothing big, nothing life-changing or monumental has happened...just the winds of life trying to put me on the course I must go. I remember hearing that God doesn't always calm the storm, sometimes he calms the sailor. That's my prayer today.